FROM THE PRESIDENT
The Halloween Costume Requires Further Review
Our Halloween costume application has raised difficult questions about disguise permits, candy capacity, and the legal difference between a toe and a finger.
READ THE DISPATCHEST. AFTER ONE TOO MANY JOKES
One toe.
Zero apologies.
Welcome to the official fan page for Keith’s big toe: steadfast, photogenic, and carrying more responsibility than the other nine combined.
PORTRAIT OF A DISTINGUISHED DIGIT
STEADFAST ✦ PHOTOGENIC ✦ LOAD-BEARING ✦ UNBOTHERED ✦ STEADFAST ✦
THE TOE, EXPLAINED
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear socks.
For years, this toe has worked quietly at the front of the foot, asking for neither praise nor preferred seating.
It has met coffee tables, suspicious floorboards, and the narrowest dress shoes with uncommon dignity. This page exists to correct the historical record.
1distinguished digit
10/10balance contribution
0official scandals
“Brave. Grounded. Occasionally stubbed.”
— THE OTHER NINE TOES, JOINT STATEMENT
THE DEPARTMENT OF TOE AFFAIRS
A very important status update.
Official in tone. Completely unserious in practice.
BULLETIN 01 / 06
In excellent standing
A dignified stroll, followed by a well-earned sock.
Coffee tables remain a person of interest.
LATEST FROM THE FRONT
Toe Dispatches
A weekly word from the head of the fan club. All dispatches →
FROM THE PRESIDENT
The Little Toe Has Requested Annual Leave
A routine vacation request has forced this office to consider staffing levels, temporary replacements, and whether a toe can take the foot with it.
READ THE DISPATCHFROM THE PRESIDENT
The Hallway Crosswalk Is Now Open
After months of planning, our new hallway crosswalk has opened with two stripes, a borrowed whistle, and no agreement about what it crosses.
READ THE DISPATCH